Alright, so I’ve spent most of the day fishing and playing card games, so I gotta crank this out pretty quick.
So this week we were recording a video to slap onto Facebook, and basically I had to catch two eggs at the same time. (Don’t ask how we got to that point). But we practiced the throwing and the catching quite a bit, and then when we got to the real deal… I of course dropped one. And then another, and then a third. I had to clean the floor three different times because raw egg just splattered all over the hardwood. I even had a blanket down there, but one of the eggs literally just broke on the blanket! So hoo boy, I gotta brush up on my simultaneous egg catching skills if I want to make the 2024 Olympic team.
Alright, then one of the days, we were going to try and meet this lady so we could start teaching her and her kids, and on our little walk from our car, this guy working on his truck just calls out to us: “Hey, you got any Bibles? Cuz I’m boutta cuss this truck up and down!” Except his words had a bit more color to them, if you get what I’m sayin. And then we told him we got some in the car, but he flaked out and said he was kidding. So cut to us getting in our car and driving away later, and we are about to drive right past where he was sitting with all his tools out, and I notice a single Bible on our dashboard…. So I slow down as my window rolls down, and then I just full on discus YEET that Bible out the window. I swear, angels guided that book to land right in the middle of all his stuff face up. Oh it was glorious. And we know where he lives, so we’re gonna hit him up next time we go back to that one lady.
Yeah, sorry I don’t have too much stuff today… I did however make another raffle video, so I hope you clowns are entertained. Even though clowns are supposed to do the entertaining. But there’s no rest for the righteous, so we’re gonna keep chuggin’ through this next week. But it has been a good one, make sure you check out the…
RAFFLE:
Thanks for tuning in gang, catch you guys next week.
Over and Out
SHOUTOUTS:
Nick: So Nick sent me pictures of clouds, and they look really nice. Clouds are sick man, they’re just like floating balls of water the size of buildings. But Nick is a cool guy.
Grandmother Teresa
Alright, gotta crank this bad boy out real quick.
So we had to get our oil changed this week, and since the church has some deal with all Firestone (not sponsored) car places, we punch in “Firestone complete auto”, which is a great car shop that can fix up any car troubles you might be having. You can check to find some in your area, or call 855-540-0015 to get your quote today! That’s eight five five, five four zero, double oh fifteen.
But actually, Firestone sucks, cuz we searched for where they were and we went to where the blessed Google Maps took us, and it was a completely different auto shop. So we go to the next closest one, and guess what? ANOTHER HOAX! We had to go to the third Firestone place before it was actually Firestone. What a garbage company. Fix your maps, guys.
Then we got to do some service on another day, where we load boxes of food and stuff into trunks of cars that drive through. And let me tell you: The number of people that complain about the amount of FREE food they get is too dang high. They see that they only get TWO boxes filled with food, and they’re like, “Is that it?” Like, “YES FOREHEAD! Stop whining about your free freakin food!” But yeah, some peoples’ kids these days. On the plus side, we got to take home 8 gallons of milk, so my bones will not be breaking anytime soon.
Oh yo! We got this kid baptized! Basically all we had to do was ask him, and he was down, I don’t understand how missionaries before hadn’t already gotten that kid in the font. But that was pretty kickin’.
Then on another day, we were on our way out the door, and I open it up, and went to grab the outside of the door and pull it open, when in the very spot I would have placed my hand, was this FAT spider. Like, the sumo wrestling world champion of the spider world, just chillin’ right where I went to grab. Luckily, I got those mad reflexes, so I bailed out and yelled something along the lines of: “SWEET BLESSED GRANDMOTHER TERESA, WHY IN THE NAME OF DAVY JONES’ LOCKER IS THAT LIL’ BOY SO DANG FFFFFFFFFFAAAAAAAT?!?!?” And Elder Horne was like, “You mean Mother Teresa?” And I was like, “Look buddy… There are moments that you gotta call out Mother Teresa, but this was clearly a Grandmother Teresa moment. One that is leagues above just a regular Mother Teresa moment.”
Then we also had a lesson coming up on one of the days, and Elder Horne pulled a classic move where he forgot his mask, so he had to use a paper towel from the bathroom and some scotch tape like a real man. So you know I got those pics.
And hoo. That’s the week. But since tomorrow is the 18th…..
WE GOT THE RAFFLE!!!!!!
Maybe you won, probably you didn’t. But WHO KNOWS???
You can check it out though and find out….
Over and Out
SHOUTOUTS:
My mom – She’s done a whole lot for me, I couldn’t put it all down if I tried. Thanks mom.
The Great British Bake Off
Well, here we go, let’s figure out what’s going down in bean town. We’re still teaching some people, most of them are kids around the age of 10, because they weren’t old enough to get baptized when the rest of their family did, and they just kinda forgot that they weren’t members until we asked them if we could teach their kids. It’s that easy I guess.
But let’s see what other fun stuff happened.
Well, on one of the days, we were in our apartment, just on a phone call with some people, and a storm rolls in. Nothing too crazy, just some rain. But over the course of this call, the rain gets heavier and heavier, and the thunder gets louder and louder. And I was the one talking to the people more, so Elder Horne went over to the door and opened it up, so he could watch the rain fall (because he likes to, I guess). So he’s just standing outside the door, and then suddenly, this massive flash of light blasts through the air, and the thunder just about shook the apartment. Then we hear car alarms blaring in the parking lot right next to us. This bolt of lightning just came in for a good lil’ high five with the ground near our apartment, and it set some car alarms off, it was wild. And of course, Elder Horne just makes a mad dash back inside, as my Vietnam flashbacks start running through my mind again. But man, it was something to behold.
Alright, here’s a moment that represents the pure and blissful grace of God quite well. So I was just eating Oreos in milk, because what’s milk’s favorite cookie, without milk? And I’m trying to get as much milk around this Oreo as I can, without just sticking my hand in the milk. But then the unthinkable happens. I drop the Oreo in the milk. Pure terror raptured my entire being, as my mind cascaded into psychological withdrawal. But in an act of valiant desperation, I plunged my fingers into the milk, and unlike the claw machines at carnivals, I actually got it, and pulled it victoriously from the milk. Oh blessed day, my cookie was recovered from the milky depths of that cup. I felt triumphant. I felt like a champion. Then Elder Horne said it was nasty that I stuck my fingers in milk, and I told him to shut up, because my recovery of that Oreo was gonna be more of an accomplishment than anything he would ever achieve in his entire, pitiful existence. It was a good time.
Then on a phone call with some other missionaries, this one dude (Elder Fillmore) was telling me about this bread recipe that he got that makes the “best bread”. But I told him that I can, as they say in the business, THROW DOWN when making cookies, and he was like, “We’ll have to have a bake off to settle this.” And we called it “The Great British Bake Off.” So we had this meeting coming up where we would be seeing each other, and we would both just bring our delicacies and compare them. Now, his first mistake was that he thought pure bread would best chocolate chip cookies. Fact of life: Bread cannot best chocolate chip cookies. Common knowledge. Then his second mistake was that he forgot I could, as they say in the business, THROW DOWN when making cookies. And I was going to show him exactly how hard I could THROW DOWN with these chocolate chip cookies. You know, that’s what they say in the business at least. So I show up, got these cookies I made ready, and Elder Fillmore walks in with nothing. So I confront this muppet of a man, and he’s like, “Nah nah nah, I got it in the car, I’m gonna do this big reveal at the end of the meeting.” So I’m just like, “Aight.” Then cut to the end, he’s like, “I’m gonna go get the bread.” Which is funny, because that’s the same thing I say every morning I wake up. But he returns with no bread. He actually returns with Tupperware filled with Oreos, as he explains that the yeast he used was super expired, and it turned out to be unintentional pita bread. So they bought Oreos. And that was it. And luckily, the group decision was that my homemade cookies beat his Oreos. I single handedly created cookies that beat out a multi BILLION dollar company. Just sayin.
But yeah, it was a groovy week, things are going good, life is cruising forward, it’s great. Thanks for reading this folks, have a great week.
Over and Out
SHOUTOUTS:
Kenny – My man Kenny is getting a shoutout. He hasn’t emailed me in like, three months, but that’s ok, he’s still a real champ. Even if he flakes out on me like this >:(
Going Full Grandma on a Fella
Well, we’re still out here working it. I don’t really know what exciting things happened this week, but let’s friggity find out.
…
I just friggity found out that nothing exciting really happened this week. Like, we are just doing regular missionary work and nobody is being crazy, it sucks.
I guess something that happened is that we went over and had a lesson with some people we’re teaching, and this lady just went full grandma mode on us. Now, for the uneducated, full grandma is when someone, usually an old lady, just gives you SO many snacks that you physically can’t carry all of it with your two hands. We were given water bottles, cans of soda, bags of popcorn, freakin ORANGES, everything a man could need. Then we just hauled our spoils to our car, and it was one of those moments where you only have a single finger at your disposal whilst opening the car door, so are just barely able to get the door open without losing your finger and dropping 14 metric tons of perishable goodness onto the ground. But we made it.
Hmmmm, let’s see… That’s kinda it actually. We’re still cranking out the work, doing that good stuff, but nothing super noteworthy.
Well dang folks, I’m sorry we really got nothing else for you this week. If next week is as dull an email as this one, I’ll think of some fire story from my past. But right now I’m low on time, so I gotta wrap this up like it’s Christmas. Thanks to all the real ones that read my emails, stay frosty.
Over and Out
SHOUTOUTS:
Ethan – My boy Ethan is back. He’s chilling back in Colorado, getting through school. He’s probably barely scraping through life by the skin of his teeth because he’s such a bumbling goof, but he’s still a real homie. Keep killing it my guy.
Eliza – My man Eliza, she’s sick. And now home from the mission. But not because of Corona. She finished 18 months, and is doing literally who knows what in New Mexico. No idea how the US ran out of names for states and just made another Mexico, that’s wild. But she’s great, and was one of the best leaders in my mission.
Austin – My guy Austin is going out on his mission now too. Supposed to be going to Chile pretty soon, he’s just waiting in another state, doing work over there until he can skedaddle down to South America. He’s a great guy though, and also continuing the tradition of having LITERALLY EVERYONE from my stake at home go on missions to foreign countries EXCEPT for me. It’s fun. They’re all gonna be speaking German and Spanish, Portugese and Samoan, all that jazz, and I’ll just be over here saying “y’all”, except I’m still refusing to introduce that abominable word into my vocabulary. So they’re gonna be bringing home foreign languages and accents, and the only thing I’ll be taking back with me is 40 pounds of pure body fat hoo rah.
Pics:
I balanced some things on a few other things
A BUNCH OF INCREDIBLE THINGS!!! READ THIS EMAIL TO FIND OUT!!!!!
Alright, you called my bluff, nothing happened this week. But hey, I’ll just drag some short moment into a lengthy story, and it’ll appear as if my week was packed to the brim with entertainment and enlightenment.
Also, we’ve got two kids we’re teaching that want to get baptized now, so that’s hype. It’s such a wack thing to go from teaching actual adults to teaching kids. When we are telling the youngins about stuff, we have to associate it with something they like, or they forget it by the time we start our next sentence. So like Frosted flakes, they’re grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat
I also found out that I’m staying in Fair Oaks with Elder Horne for another 6 weeks.
Alright, now I gotta drag a story out. So we were at dinner with these super cool members, and the son just asks the question outta the blue, “How fast can you chug a water bottle?” To which I reply, “Pretty freakin fast” But then this kid reaches for one of the unopened bottles in the middle, and I do the same. Neither of us said words, but we both knew what was about to happen. The mom and his sister started to hype us up, as this 16 year old living mullet takes of the headphones he had around his neck and stands up. I’m taking off my jacket and getting to my feet as well. Then we both pop the lid off, and the kid’s like, “Three, two one, go.” GLLLLBBBGGGGGBGGGBGBGBGB is the sound that is echoing over the dinner table, as we both crush these water bottles into our mouths. We were super close, but he pulled ahead of me when he blew the water bottle up with air again, and then got that last little bit. That was a trick that I wasn’t aware of, so I was trying to just squeeze all the water that thing had out of it like a dying desert man. Then for the rest of dinner he said his stomach was hurting, but I was doing just fine, so who’s the real winner?
Yeah, sorry, this week wasn’t ham bone crazy, but next week, we’ll get stuff going. Still teaching a bunch of people, which is hype, so we’re just busy most days. Thanks for sticking around, we’ll get ’em next time.
Over and Out
SHOUTOUTS:
Elder Livingston – Again, asking for a shoutout. But I’ll tell you why. Every time we are driving somewhere, and we get stuck behind each other at a stoplight, we play rock paper scissors, and I’m currently 0 for 8 right now…
Elder Miller – This is a missionary that I met in the MTC that is serving in some state near the East coast. I don’t really remember where, I’m too busy thinking about all these people in Fair Oaks, sorry bud. But he’s a great guy.
The Burn of a Potato
So I glocked a fly. That’s how this week starts out. I used this Nerf gun in our apartment, shooting at this fly that was flying around, and eventually it landed on the counter. I aimed and fired. After a blur of yellow, there was nothing but a little streak where the fly once was, with his body plastered on the wall behind him. It was a glorious spectacle to behold.
Oh, also, the ukulele is the easiest instrument to learn, if anyone is out there looking for a quarantine skill to pick up. Elder Horne taught me a couple of chords, and then Elder Nash (another missionary) taught me how to strum. Bing bang boom, I can play about 500 songs now.
Then another day in the week, we were calling these other missionaries, and for some reason we found out they had a bunch of potatoes, so of course I was like, “Hey, take a bite straight out of a raw potato, you won’t.” And then I got hit with the “If you do it, I’ll do it.” So I was like, “Alright, game time.” So we each sent a video of us eating a potato raw. And I will now proceed to recount my experience: It was a sucky time. First off, I literally bit off more than I could chew. So I was crunching for about a minute and a half, until the raw potato was finally gone. And it tasted bad the entire time. So that was fun. Once it was finally done, I thought it was over. But it wasn’t. For some reason, my throat had this mad burning in it for like, the next THREE HOURS. I felt like ripoff Snow White, and I was about to enter the wildest coma of my life. But it eventually left, so that’s good.
Then we were also having this video call with a kid, and before we were able to start, he spent 15 minutes showing us his Fortnite skins, so that was quite educational.
But other than this stuff, not too much happened. We’re all gooooood, having a good time, teaching people, making videos, living life, and surviving off cereal and grilled cheese. Have a rockin’ week.
Over and Out
SHOUTOUTS:
Makenna – She asked for a shoutout, but gave me nothing to shout her out for. So I guess we’ll shout her out for just being a great person. She’s a blast to be around, has a cool older brother (My man Bryce), and is just straight up super great.
Elder Livingston – “Alright, what do you want to get shouted out for?” – Me. He just said, “Anything.” So I will shout him out for wearing flip flops right now, like a champ. He’s a cool guy, and he also has taught me some stuff with the ukulele.
Elder Horne – “You have to ask for shoutouts??” is roughly what he said after Elder Livingston asked for one. But yeah, he taught me the most common chords for ukuleles, and then sent me a picture of them, and lets me practice on his ukulele after hours.
The Famine
Alright, so we start out the week by getting salsa all over the walls of our beloved abode. I don’t want to go into details, but it’s what happened.
Then we found some clippers in our apartment, so we cut each other’s hair, and it was pretty swell.
Then I got to make some chocolate chip cookies, which was actually a great time. I love making cookies, even though it cost me a majority of my money. Oh well. On that note, we’ve been living off the scraps of the scraps in our apartment. We both have no money and no food, so we have to eat stuff like peanut butter and jelly on stale tortillas. And one day I buckled and even tried cereal in water. It was a desperate time, and I really don’t recommend it to anyone. I cannot describe the experience with words, but just don’t do it.
Also, much like myself, I’m sure there are many of you wondering why I wasn’t called to Russia for my mission. Well. I have the reason right here. We were having dinner with these members, and they have an AirBNB guest staying with them, who apparently escaped from Russia a couple years back. But when he was asking about how we ended up in Oklahoma, and I told him that I would’ve been down to serve in Russia, he just cut me off and was like, “If you went to Russia, you would never come back.” And he said in this Russian accent, it was sick. But the reason I don’t come back isn’t because I die, no no. It’s because I would, according to this guy’s logic, find some girl that woos me into staying and I go orthodox. And just, never come back. So I guess it’s good that I’m in Oklahoma.
But yeah, we’ve been making more videos for Facebook, which is fun, and visiting the few people we can. I’m getting through this quarantine, but I feel like missionary work will never be the same. Ah well, things are good, and I’m having a grand time.
Over and Out
We also got the 18th coming up this week sooooooo…
THE RAFFLE:
SHOUTOUTS:
Kenny – My boy Kenny is living life successfully. Because he’s still alive. He’s a solid homie and he’s probably gonna be a news anchor some day. What a man.
Kissing Satan
So you know the story of David and Goliath? I did that. Well, kinda. I made a sling, and threw golf balls around the apartment, which is more or less what David did. It started with me just finding one of those measuring ribbons in the apartment, and then also finding a golf ball. So of course I do some tests. And sure enough, if you have a golf ball sitting inside a measuring ribbon, being swung around fast enough, it doesn’t fall out! Sometimes. Truly a groundbreaking discovery. I then was able to hone my skills with the measuring ribbon and golf ball to the point that I could launch it pretty dang accurately at stuff. I mostly just threw it at our recliners, because I didn’t want to break anything, and I could hit those bad boys from across the room. Now, the early development of this sling was a little rough because the golf ball would occasionally slip out and fly in some random direction, which gave Elder Horne literal trauma. And I’m pretty sure it still lingers inside him, because even after I had perfected my slinging skills, he still runs into another room when I start winding it up. Oh well.
And then on another day I got attacked by a bird. Hope you’re interested now. So we were walking to get the mail, but it was raining, so we each had an umbrella. On the way back, I see this little bird on the ground, and it looks too young to be able to fly. So I channel my inner Pocahontas, and go up to see if the bird is ai’ight. Well, I must’ve channeled the wrong vibe, because I took one step closer to it, and it went full smoke detector on me. Like, “EEEEEEEEE!! EEEEEEE!! EEEEEEEEEEEE!! EEEEEEEEEEE!! EEEEEEEEEE!! EEEEEEEEEEE!!” Which was horrific, and reminded me of that scene in “The Incredibles” where the bird is like, “Voice key incorrect” And then it just goes full on fire drill mode, and ruptures your eardrums. But then, there was more screeching coming from above me in the trees, and I feel this object bump into my umbrella, and then fly back into the trees, and I’m like, “Mama bird, you know I can THROW DOWN on a playah, what are you doin??” And mama bird was all, “EEEEEEEEEE!! EEEEEEEEEE!! EEEEEEEEEE!! EEEEEEEEEE!!” But I just decided to leave ’em be, and we continued walking.
Alright, then this one time, we were eating food with these members, and this kid there is like, “You fellas ever had pure chili extract?” Now, the pure extract of anything gets me interested, so we were like, “No, what is it?” And he goes off to his room, and returns with this sketchy looking package, which he opens up like the devil himself, smoke spilling out onto the table, while some background organ music starts playing in a minor key. But he takes out this vial, and it’s got more warning labels on it than stars in the sky, and he tells us it’s got “No flavor, just pure spice.” And both that statement and the warning labels have already gotten my mind made up as to whether I’m trying this stuff or not. I AM. So he tells us to get a TEENY bit on the end of our fork prongs, and then just pop that sucker in your mouth. So I don’t go too crazy, but I still get a bit on there. It’s got the dark red color of death itself, but we each try it at the same time. It took a few seconds before it hit, but once it hit, it hit hard. It fills your whole mouth, and I made the mistake of licking my lips, so it felt like I had just made out with Satan himself, which didn’t make my life any better. So 15 minutes and 3 water bottles later, it was finally gone, but those 15 minutes were spent with us looking at each other and screaming internally. Elder Horne was sweating like a mad lad, and his eyes were constantly tearing up; meanwhile, my nose was out running a 10k, while I kept licking my lips, trying to rinse the nectar of pure chili off of it. But we got through it. Hot dang. Emphasis on HOT.
Then our 4th of July was us sitting in chairs outside watching people down the road light the sky up, which was pretty sick.
So that was my week in a nutshell, thanks for tuning in. Get hyped for THE RAFFLE next week… I don’t know what it’s gonna be, but it’s gonna be good.
Over and Out
SHOUTOUTS:
The Founding Fathers: Good job boys, you got this country up and rolling, if you could see it now, you would probably be crying, but that’s ok.
Bryce: This guy is the best older brother out there, and he’s a homie. I remember one time when we were on some camping trip for Scouts, we pretty much just scammed the other guy we were playing war with by simply taking his cards that were higher than ours, before he realized that he actually won. What a legend.
Pics:
I didn’t have a red, white and blue tie, so I improvised:
The sling:
Hail Hydra
So to start my email, I’m gonna to just tell everyone that I can throw down when it comes to baking. I made these brownies in a quote “Bake off” against these other missionaries, and let me just say, they got riggity wrecked. So that was fun.
Let’s see… for my week I’ve been cranking out mostly the same stuff. We’re still calling and texting people, but we can go and try to see if people are home now, so we’ve gone on these manhunts to get in contact with everyone that leaves us on read, which is great because it’s starting to feel like regular missionary work again.
So something that was actually super cool that happened this week was we found this new family that we’re hoping to teach. The story is the cool part though. So we’re on our manhunt, and as we drive into this neighborhood, I wave at this kid on a bike. (I just wave at everyone, and try to get as many waves back as I can) So he waves back, and we continue down the road for a little ways. When we pull over and get out next to the house we were gonna try, we find out that the kid had followed us. So we start saying hi, and he just asks who we work for. I was seriously tempted to just yell, “THE GOOD LORD JESUS, WHY DO YOU ASK??” But I didn’t. And we just told him about being missionaries. Then he just says, “Can you come talk to my mom?” Bro, anyone that’s not a missionary has gotta understand: That doesn’t happen. Like EVER. Someone just instantly asking you to come meet their family is a straight miracle.
So we were like, “For sure, where is she?” And he starts to lead us to their house. Now the problem is, there’s this movie called “The Saratov Approach”, which is about these missionaries that get kidnapped, and this was kinda the same way it all started in the movie… So I was either about to get to teach an entire family, or I was gonna get kidnapped. And as I noted in a previous email, that is apparently very easy to do. But we end up getting to meet the whole family, and talk to them for a bit. They told us they had something difficult just recently happen in their lives, and were wondering if God even existed. So we were like, “Bro, you’re in luck, guess what we do?” And it was awesome. I didn’t say that exactly, but you know what I mean. Then we asked if we could come back and they said they would really like that. Oh man, it was so sick.
Then on another day, I tried putting on as many ties as I possibly could. Hope nobody gets whiplash from that drastic topic shift, but let me explain the whole story. So I started out by just putting on two ties. Nothing crazy– I just overlapped them, and tied it like a normal tie. Then you couldn’t even see the tie underneath, so I was all good. But like meth, one time wasn’t enough. So the question strolled into my mind: “How many ties can I wear at once?” I started just advancing, one tie at a time, getting them fixed up, making sure it worked, and then taking it off and adding another tie. I documented this research, because it’s truly one for the archives of history, and slowly the ties went from 2, to 3, to 4, to 6, and then to 8. I fit 8 ties around the girth of my neck. That’s a word to add to your vocabulary. But I finally called it at 8 because the knot made me feel like a smurf was choking me, and I really wasn’t about that. I also was using some of my less favorite ties, so in case everything suddenly went South, I would have only ruined those ones.
Then this other time while visiting people, I was standing right next to the window, and Elder Horne makes this startled look, looking into the window right behind me. Then I turn to see what all the commotion is about, and less than a foot from my face, was yet another face, with unblinking eyes, peering into my soul. My knees just about buckled, and I had to catch my soul before it made a mad dash for the light. Turns out it was a mannequin, but my question was: “What psychopath places disembodied mannequin heads on the windowsill, facing the front porch??” That wasn’t something I was ready for.
But yeah, that’s what’s been going down in my world, thanks to the real ones out there for reading this all the way through, have a good one.
Over and Out
SHOUTOUTS:
Naomi: She was a missionary here too, but the curtain’s been called on her time out here. She’s one of the nicest people I’ve ever met, it’s crazy. I know that some people in Oklahoma like to bash on the missionaries, but I literally can’t imagine anyone being mean to her, she’s rocking.
Elder Livingston: He’s playing the ukulele while I’m writing this email, and he said he’d like a shoutout. He’s pretty cool, and he’s good at the piano. Cool guy, he’s been out about one more month than me.
Pics:
You can see the progression of me increasing the number of ties I can wear at the same time. And the reason for the names of the pictures are because at some point I told Elder Horne to call me “The Hydra”, because you take off one tie, and two more take its place.
The face that almost killed me:
Forgot to share the pic from the lightbulb incident of last week.
So I was bashing on tie bars, talking about how they’re essentially just glorified paper clips to hold your tie to your shirt. And then I saw a common household item, and went off about how something as simple as this could accomplish the same menial tasks as a “$40 bobby pin”.
Get Outta the Car
We did pretty much the same type of stuff as last week, so don’t get too excited. But we also got some fun stuff mixed in there too.
The missionaries taking over our other area, Forest Ridge, are gonna be staying in a hotel, instead of with us soooo…. sad days.
But anyway, we were cleaning up our apartment because we should, and I finally decided to replace the burned-out lightbulb in our main fan. So I have this dead bulb, and this clean countertop. I’m just spinning it on the counter like a Hanukkah top, because I could, and Elder Horne decides to take a video of it spinning in slow motion. So I ready up, and prepare to let this thing rip. Not a second after he says go, I spin the light bulb SO HARD that it launches off the countertop and shatters all over the hardwood floor like some kind of Beyblade burst. It was both hilarious and tragic, kinda like watching a chubby kid trip. So I just grab Elder Horne’s sandals that are right next to the floor, and start to sweep it all up. The problem was, this was like baby bear’s bed, because it was toooooo small, if you can catch these Goldilocks references I’m throwing. But yeah, we finally got it all swept up, and we even vacuumed the hardwood just in case.
Then, another day, we were driving to the church, and it’s a two-lane road, and in one of the lanes there was just a trash bag filled with trash. So I rammed right into it and– no, I’m just kidding. We drove past it, and I look at Elder Horne in the passenger seat, and ask him, “You ready to be a good citizen today? We’re gonna flip a U-ey and you’re gonna jump outta the car and grab the trash.” And he was just like, “Alright, fine I guess.” So we get back going up the road, and we pass the trash, and I peel right in front of it and slap on my hazards. He’s outta the car, grabbing this gross bag off the road, and throwing it into the back of our car, complaining about how orange peels were falling onto his hands. But we gun it out of there and make it to the church. Then when we get to the dumpster, Elder Horne goes to toss the bag in. Now, as he’s heaving it in, the bag rips open and trash flies through the air, going everywhere. So we then got to pick all of it up.
Then another day, during our little bit of outdoor time, we were throwing a frisbee around, and I decided to do what I did back in my FRISBEE GLORY DAYS, and try to kick it out of the air. That was the power move to do. You’re playing frisbee, and as the frisbee is going to someone on the other team, you literally jump kick it outta the air. Like, Mr. Miyagi style, it’s so cool! And the person that was gonna catch the frisbee is just WRECKED. They have no way to react. But I went to kick the frisbee out of the air when Elder horne threw it to my side, and like a cartoon banana peel slip, my legs swoop up into the air, and I just drop to the ground. But I kicked the frisbee. So it was well worth it. A small price to pay. And then I got my groove back, and I reverted to my mad kicking self once again.
Then, a different day in the week, we were driving, and we see some shape of something on the road, right before a stoplight. So we stop right next to it, and once again, I’m like, “Get outta the car and grab that trash off the road.” And Elder Horne is like, “Oh my nectors.” And he hops out and grabs that too. Turns out it was a neck pillow. So apparently, Oklahoma’s roads are a homeless man’s GOLD MINE, and if anyone reading this is scavenging for roadside treasures, swing by Broken Arrow.
So yeah, it was a pretty good week. Some fun times, for sure. Keep rocking it, everyone that reads these emails. If you let my email build up digital dust in your inboxes, I’m extremely disappointed and betrayed.
Over and Out
SHOUTOUTS:
Kyer – This man is living life at home right now, waiting to be able to go finish his mission in CANADA. He started in Brazil, and now he’s going to Canada. You ever been called to a foreign mission twice? Well he has. He’s great though, and we’ll be finishing up our missions at right around the same time.
