So to start off, we’ll update everyone on the work here. It’s going. We’re trying to teach a bunch of people, but lots of flaking out is still occurring, so we just find ways to fill that time, whether it be studying more, or trying to message random people on Facebook. Wild stuff. But it’s fun out here, so we’re chillin’.
Anyway, this week we went to do some service at this museum, and when we finished, they asked us if we had anything for them to sign, and I was like, “Shalom?” And they explained how they thought we were some juvy kids or something that had to do community service. Come on son, do I look like a screw-up to you? Check yourself, boy.
Then we put up a free Book of Mormon on this for-sale page on Facebook, because you know, who doesn’t want free stuff, and this bumbling preacher boy just starts commenting “IT’S HERESY!! The Book of Mormon has been debunked time and time again!!” And we just laughed at this pathetic man’s attempt to stop the work of God. Some people’s kids these days. But we didn’t want to get into a big bash, so we just didn’t say anything on the post.
And honestly, that’s about all the crazy noteworthy stuff that’s happened this week. I did however get the latest raffle video made, and it’s my pride and joy, so I hope everyone takes the time to watch it. I put a lot of work into it, and so help me if I don’t get a reply, I’m going to staple somebody to the ceiling.
Anyway, have a good one guys.
Over and Out
SHOUTOUTS:
Nobody – Shoutouts are dead, I’m gonna start shouting out anything I can think of now
Sidewalks – For keeping me off the streets
My Legs – For supporting me
My Arms – For being by my side
Tales of a Top Tier Chef
Alright, things happened this week. No idea how interesting those things are, though. We’ve had a bunch of video calls with people throughout the week, which is always a good time. We’ve had probably 90% of our lessons cancel on us this week, so that’s a sad little statistic.
Alright, we got some GREAT news. I made grilled ham and cheese for lunch (again), and I’ve just about got it perfected. I know precisely where the temperature of the stove needs to be, how long the sandwich should be there, the right amount of cheese and ham, and how to get it perfectly golden brown on the outside while having cheese that is literally melted so well it’s like a flowing river of pure, cheesy goodness. Wow, truly something to taste. Hope anyone out there who skipped lunch is really feeling that grilled ham and cheese right about now.
Then on to a tale of true pain. THIS IS NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART. So after a year of being in Oklahoma, and NOT wearing a retainer… I decided to just full send it and try to get this bad boy back in my mouth. I figure if I can just tough it out through the sheer pain until it fits again, I won’t have to worry about my teeth after the mission. So night one, I popped the bottom in, and it was pretty easy, still hurt a bit, but it was nothing compared to the top. At first, I couldn’t fit the top in. Like my teeth hurt SO MUCH, that I couldn’t get through it. So I had to gradually work up to that. So I’m sitting in this pitch black room, just on my bed as I slowly inch this piece of pain plastic into my mouth. It hurt. Oh it hurt BAD. But I eventually got it to the point where it stayed, without me pressing it into my teeth. And once it finally stayed on it’s own, I just laid there, looking up into the abyss of pain itself, as I yelled on the inside. I didn’t want to bother my guy Elder Miller who was sleeping on the other side of the room, but I was breathing so furiously through my nostrils that poor chap was probably wide awake. Then of course, the day finally arrived after that night of glorious slumber, and I’m thinkin, “Boy oh boy, I’ll get to pop these things out and all the pain will just vanish from my mouth!” Well. That didn’t happen. It was still in pain until about 3 that day, so that was pretty cool. But that was just night one. We’ve done 3 nights so far, and I’m just gonna keep going until it doesn’t hurt. Hopefully you guys enjoyed that fun little update on my mouth.
Ah yes, and then we can’t forget about our water buffalo adventure. So that massive slab or ground beef we have, that I made seasoned beef with last week? Yeah, that’s still hanging around. PROBLEM IS: On one occasion where I placed it in some water to help it thaw, the bag had the tiniest hole, and it got mixed in with the beef. And then I threw it back in the freezer… SO, there was just a chunk of raw cow in this frozen meaty water juice the next time I took it out. And I took it out when we were about halfway through dinner time, so I couldn’t waste a single moment, and I needed to get this beef from being mixed with water and frozen together in a bag, to being broken apart and cooking in a pan. And I had about 20 minutes to do that. So cut to me slamming frozen meat in a bag against the countertops. Nothing. The meat refused to break into manageable pieces. So I had to grab this 25 pound weight we had, and go to town on this thing. Still nothing. Well, there goes 7 minutes, so I end up just throwing the whole thing in the pan, and start grillin. Now, the water is melting, and I’m having to lift this meat up every 30 seconds or so, just so I can scrape off the meat that has broken off of the main chunk, so it can swim around in the pan pool. Then I have to take the pan over to the sink, and drain out the water without losing any meat. Oh man, it was a process. BUT, we got it done. And the meat wasn’t bad! So it all worked out. And we got a new bag! It ended up getting ripped (no idea how) and so this new bag will keep it safe. And since most of the ice melted off, it’s no longer a stew. All’s well that ends well I guess.
And wow. That’s the week. A bit long, but shoutout to all the champs that read this.
So, technical difficulties with the raffle, we got it redrawn and everything, but I don’t have it uploaded yet, because it’s like, TEN MINUTES LONG, but it will go up either today or tomorrow I hope. So here’s the link again, and check it to see if you win sometime this week. Who knows? It could be you…
THE RAFFLE:
Over and out
SHOUTOUTS:
Conor – My guy Conor is just such a great guy, I gotta give him one.
Conner – My other guy Conner is also such a great guy, so he gets one too.
Pics:
On the 18th we went and got shakes for my one-year mark
The FATTEST CHUNK OF BEEF (it kinda looked like a giant heart, which was cool)
The Bee Crusades of 2020
Alright, so I’m in Woodward now. And it’s out in the middle of nowhere, so that’s different from all the cities I’ve served in, but it’s cool. We spent Tuesday driving for forever, so that was fun, but from Wednesday on, we’ve been here in the corner of the state.
Alright, so something that is out here are BEES. And for some reason, they are always where we are when we’re talking to someone outside. Like, no exceptions. Talking to our friend who’s fixing his taillight in the middle of the day, bees. Visiting a member outside, bees. Just standing there looking like an idiot, bees. And bees just cruise on up to you, and try to land on you, for some unknown reason. Like, you’re moving your arms while you’re talking and these bees are just like, “Yeah bro, I’m just gonna try to land on that.” Like BRO, don’t you have honey to go make?? I don’t know what they’re trying to do, and I’m not about to fight bees, cuz those little guys are dying, so I just have to try to communicate with them via dance, because that’s how bees communicate (Thanks Phineas and Ferb).
Then I decided one night that rather than have another ham and cheese sandwich for dinner, I would break out some cooking skills, and have some real food. And being the cuisine machine that I am, I pulled out some beef from the freezer and all the spices in our cabinets, and just went to town. I smelled the spices and sprinkled them in according to my gut feeling. And not gonna lie, some of the best beef I’ve had in my life. There was actually nothing else besides seasoned beef, but it was still very nice.
And I guess to wrap this up, so far every single day, when 4:20 rolls around, we look at the time and we’re both like, “Ayyyyy it’s 4:20!” But like, we just look at the time for any reason and it just happens to be right at that lovely time. Every single day since Tuesday. Truly amazing.
But yeah, that was our week, we’re just going hard on that missionary work, bringing eternal joy to people’s souls, pretty cool stuff. And somehow it’s the 18th again this week soooooo….
THE RAFFLE:
SHOUTOUTS:
MakanaLani – So she used to serve in Oklahoma, but she finished her 18 months and dipped outta here. She’s actually super cool though, and was a killer missionary. She’s Apache and has a super cool name too. What a legend.
Also with the shoutouts, we got quite a few responses from last time, and there’s no other missionaries out here, so my P-days are gonna consist of me writing emails and shopping, yahoo!
Over and Out
Pics:
The godfather of beef itself
My guy Elder Miller
I Look Like a Charity Case
So, first off, I’m gonna be leaving Fair Oaks and going to a place called Woodward, which is the butt cheek of the mission, literally the very top left, and the area that is the farthest away from everyone else. So yeah, some fun times.
But anyway, here’s the good stuff:
Well, I had another bake-off this week. I challenged some Sisters to a cookie-making contest, and they foolishly accepted. I don’t know why people accept that challenge; that’s literally my best talent. Imagine Michael Phelps challenging you to a swimming contest, and you just saying “yes”, thinking you can win. LITERALLY NOT EVEN A CHANCE AT SUCCESS!! But of course, these clowns had no clue they were about to be humiliated. And then the time came, and when we compared cookies, well… I THREW DOWN and won by approximately 3 landslides. They made some wack lookin’ chocolate chip cookies with salted caramel drizzled over the top, and I was over here with chocolate chip cookies that got Oreo’s and Reese’s on the inside like a straight THUG. Also, their cookies were mad salty, but I didn’t have the nerve to tell them I was eating a cow lick, so we just never had a clear winner. (Actually we did, and it was me, but that shall remain unspoken.)
We also got to help some people move into their apartment, and of course, they made a tactical error and tried to pay us. Like, bro. What are you even doing? Get that wack stuff outta here. It’s called service for a reason. What is it with people trying to pay me these days, honestly. I guess I just look SO trashy, they decide to take pity on me.
But then get this: A member came to drop off dinner to us one day, and he asked if we needed anything, and the sole of my shoe was like halfway off, so I asked him if he had any shoe glue or something like that (cuz I had tried using Elmer’s Glue, but that’s about as effective as rubbing sand and water on it, so I had to figure something else out). But this guy literally saw the shoes and was like, “It looks like you just need new shoes. What size are you?” And I told him, and this ALPHA MALE just pulls up Amazon and straight buys me new shoes. BRUH. And I was trying to stop him, cuz I’m no charity case, but he didn’t care. He was like, “Too late, they’re ordered, and they’ll be here on Tuesday.” But like, I’m traveling all the way up to the butt cheek of the mission on Tuesday, sooooo…. I guess we’ll try to get that all figured out tomorrow. But what a Chad move. He pulled that off, just flexin’ on me like that. I’m super grateful though, I can’t be complaining.
Alright, HERE’S THE GOOOOOOD SAUCE:
So, there’s this random guy who rides a four-wheeler around the church parking lot. He lives just down the road from the church. And we’ve seen him just zoom by many times, so one day we decided we would go outside as he’s coming around, and see what he does. Will he flip a 180 and hope we don’t yell at him? Will he give us a hearty wave? Maybe he just won’t care, WHO KNOWS?? So we had to see. And we hear that little ATV come zoomin’ by, so we pop outta the door, and look to see where our guy is. Well, we see him, and he’s zoomin’ all right, just gunnin’ it down on one end of the lot. But then, rather than turn and follow the parking lot like we thought, this man LITERALLY just DRIVES STRAIGHT THROUGH THE SURROUNDING FENCE. Like, he just SENT IT. He crashed through it, and into this car dealership on the other side. He’s near the other end of the parking lot, so we’re all there, jaws dropped, wondering what we should do. So we start to walk over there, and after about 30 seconds we hear that trusty ATV rev up again, and he kicks it outta there. We were so confused. He was facing forward the whole time, and he had to drive up onto a curb in order to even get to the fence, and then he had to be going fast enough to break THROUGH the fence. Cut to about two minutes later, with us wondering what to do and laughing about what just transpired. The same ATV comes back into the parking lot. But the guy that was riding before isn’t on it this time– it’s these two random girls who pull up next to the church’s front entrance and proceed to do a PHOTO SHOOT. LITERALLY, ONE OF THEM STARTS POSING ON THE ATV WHILE THE OTHER SNAPS PICS IN FRONT OF A CHURCH. WHAT?? Anyway, after they drove off, we ended up talking to the car dealership guy when he came through the fence, told him what we saw, gave him our number and dipped. I don’t know what was going through that man’s mind, if anything, but I would be willing to give all 3 dollars in my wallet to find out. The closest guess we have is either drugs or absolutely zero impulse control. “I could just drive right through that fence…… I think I will.” Oh my concerto. I’m still lost about the whole thing.
But yeah, that’s the week. I’ll let you know more about Woodward and my new comp Elder Miller next week, but until then, keep it tight, thanks for reading this.
Over and Out
And I say thanks for reading this because I FOUND ANOTHER PERSON THAT DOESN’T!!
RAFFLE:
SHOUTOUTS:
We’re just gonna list a few names this time, and if you see your name, shoot me an email, just so I get an idea of how many people even read these, because I could be spending my precious P-day time playing games, but instead I type all this out. So if not enough people respond….. Don’t be surprised if this is the last email I send out.
Kyle
Nick
Conner
Sadie
Abby
Brooklynne
My own dad
Kenny
Bryce
Eliza
Ethan
Patrick
Ryan
Time to weed out all the snakes…
Pics:
I made an Infinity Gauntlet
The fence that mad lad drove through
We got together for a missionary meeting and then climbed in the church bus and took a sick pic
