Wow, Something Actually Happened This Week?
Well gents, last week it appears we were casting our nets on the wrong side of the boat, if you can even understand that level of analogy. Recently, Elder Weese and I have been working with our members in the area to see how we can just help them and meet with them, and we’re getting that to pick up.
So before we begin with this week, I’m gonna bounce back to last week when we were at the trampoline park, because I forgot to include how we were playing dodgeball and this random 8-year-old girl joined in and just slaughtered us. It was wild, rules didn’t apply to her, and we were massacred.
Then that same day, I went to dinner with a Spanish member. Have you ever gotten to sit at a table while literally everyone else is speaking a language you don’t understand? It’s quite the adventure. Through some miracle, I managed to kinda follow the conversation and at least figure out what topics they were talking about, but other than that, I would spend the time focusing really hard as I attempted to translate to English, or I would also just look at whoever was talking, and nod as they were speaking, and then just fake laugh alongside everyone else as I pretended to know what’s going on. They were still really cool, and the elders I was with simply explained to them that I am just a monolingual schmuck, as I sat there like a bimbo.
Then that night when we were all staying at our apartment together for one last hoorah, we were all lying in bed, just talking before we zonked out for the night. The conversation was something weird probably, and I started to shut my eyes. I chilled there, achieving a state of nirvana for a good 6 seconds, until the conversation dropped rather suddenly. I opened my eyes, wondering what could possibly shut 4 fools up so fast. The exact MICROSECOND that I opened my eyes, I see the face of Elder Janke, literally less than an inch away from mine, as my adrenal glands proceed to RUPTURE. I shoved Elder Janke so hard I swear that little nerd caught some air. Of course the other hoodlums laugh at the whole event, as I attempt to gather the shattered pieces of my sanity.
Then later that week (since it wasn’t the last night they stayed with us), I ended up asking Elder Janke to cut my hair, because apparently he had experience doing it. Oh how subtle are the tricks of the mortal man. I’m just kidding, the haircut was weird at first because I have never really had my hair look like it did, but eventually I came to accept the fact that I look like a clown.
Going along with all the moving out stuff, Elder Weese and I went HARD on the Mr. Clean grind, as we whipped our apartment into shape.
Alright, now, a while ago in my email I brought up how I don’t use the forbidden redneck word of “y’all.” But we were eating lunch after a missionary meeting, and literally the consensus of the entire missionary zone was that “y’all” is the best word, and people who say “you guys” are just dumb. Oh my goodness. I almost couldn’t contain my laughter as I realized that I’m surrounded by a bunch of hicks. Holy cow, have you ever been attacked by 13 people, while none of them know it?? It was literally COMEDIC. I’m of course gonna keep saying “you guys” because I don’t stoop to the level of bimbos. I’m kidding, they’re not bimbos and they’re all pretty great.
Brief highlights:
- Thought we were gonna get attacked by a pit bull
- Made some cheesecake
- A guy yelled “CRAP IT’S THE MORMONS!!!” after we knocked on his door, and he walked away
Alright, this next one is the experience of going to Life.Church. Yes, it’s got that random period in there. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned Life.Church before, but it’s literally a concert and a TED talk, with a pinch of Jesus thrown in. We walk into this place, and the first thing I see is the bouncy castle. Woah now, I was expecting a church. Oh ho ho, WRONGO FOOL. This is LIFE DOT FRIGGIN CHURCH!! So we walk past the CONCESSION STAND, and enter the “chapel.” I forgot what it’s called, but we strut our stuff into there and take a seat. On one of the 3 JUMBOTRONS they’ve got the countdown saying “5:13 until service.” Now we sit down and the prelude hymn starts to play: a truly classic church song by the name of “Light ’em up,” by the infamous Fall Out Boy. The bass drum was literally so loud my pants were shaking. I didn’t think my pants could shake, but they freaking did. Then the “pastor” gives his pump-up speech, and some more music played, which all pretty much combined earth-shaking noise while yelling thanks to Jesus. After we left, I was just in post-traumatic shock from the whole thing. It was an experience all right, but it sure wasn’t a church. That was pure jungle law. You can have fun there, but I would call it more of a party than anything else.
Well, hopefully you guys enjoyed this week’s email more than last week’s. I find out this Saturday if I’m leaving or staying in Norman, and honestly I’m good with either way. Thanks to the people who read my emails because I know they’re pretty stupid long. Hope you guys have a great week. Stay frosty.
SHOUTOUTS:
Elder Howells – He’s my friend serving in Idaho, and he requested a shoutout. He’s awesome and quite an exciting fellah. I hadn’t seen him for about 3 years until I ran into him at the MTC, then have been emailing him since. He’s a solid guy.
- Over and Out
What? He actually attached pictures in his email?? Yes he did.
The cheesecake I made after I ran out of space in the muffin tray:
Me in the classic getup:
My haircut (it looks better because of the dark lighting and blurry picture; that’s a photography pro trick):
A picture I drew in my free time:
The lads:
