Harry Potter and the Unstoppable Child
Well hot pretzels, I gotta crank this out in like, 30 minutes because the rest of the zone is coming to play games with all of us together. So sorry gents and lasses, but this email’s gonna be LICKITY SPLIT.
We’re still teaching people and finding new ones, it’s fun stuff.
Monday after I emailed all you clowns, we went out and got haircuts at this sketchy Korean barbershop, but it was cheap and pretty fly, I personally think.
Then we went to a music store and I bought an instrument called a THUNDERTUBE. It’s a tube, with a long, thin spring attached to the bottom, and then you just, wiggle wiggle, and it goes: WANNNNGAWANNNNNNNGGRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM. It’s my kind of music.
That night, we went to this kid we were teaching and lemme tell you what: this kid is unstoppable. And I mean it. When he has something to say, HE SAYS IT. No matter who’s speaking, or what they’re saying, he will just have the words formulate in his head, and he will SPOUT THEM FROM HIS LIPS. “So ya see, if we’re all good people–” “SO LIKE WHY DO ZEBRAS HAVE STRIPES? CUZ LIKE, NO OTHER ANIMALS HAVE STRIPES. WELL LIKE, TIGERS DO, BUT LIKE, ZEBRA ARE THE ONLY FRIENDLY ANIMALS WITH STRIPES.” Like flip, my boy, how do we contain you?
Then of course as we’re there, and we’re saying hi to the family, he just pulls out a flat sponge kinda thing from his pocket and boldly announces the power that this sponge has. And proceeds to wipe this dirty knife all over the table and proclaim, “So you see, it can clean up any mess!” Wipes the table three times “BOOM, three wipes and the mess is GONE! Look look, I’ll do it again, even the biggest messes are gone in SECONDS!” Wipes knife on the table again and then wipes it clean “ISN’T THAT AMAZING?? IT CLEANS ANY MESS, IN SECONDS!!” I was living a Shamwow commercial. I thought that I was in some kind of wack dream.
Then he proceeds to explain how he was gonna carve pool balls outta wood, and all he needed was a log. We’re like, “Don’t you want a knife or something?” And he’s just like, “Nah, I’ll use my teeth.” This kid. THIS KID. I could make this whole email about him, I swear. But I’m running out of time, so we’ll move on.
This week has been pretty chill, though. Thanksgiving we spent just hangin’ with some members in our ward.
On Black Friday, we went and talked to people in the stores, because we like a challenge, and then I got peer pressured into buying a 3-pound Hershey’s bar. It’s a wild time.
But Saturday was BRUTAL. We were biking everywhere and the wind was just going BONKERS ON OUR PANTALOONS. Like, at least a whole lot of speed. I can’t tell you how fast it was, because I didn’t have my wind speed tracker on my person that day. But like, it was ROUGH. We biked for 30 minutes one way, and 2 minutes coming back. Also the wind blew me off my bike and I got stabbed by my bike gears. Sad times.
Yeah I’m pretty sure the zone is pulling in, and a couple of them are here. So I gotta BOUNCE. Sorry this isn’t as bizarre as some of my emails, but I’ll try to do some more crazy things. Thanks for reading through my email, and have a great day everyone!
So, apparently getting shouted out in my email has become a thing, so we’ll have them at the end of my emails now.
SHOUTOUTS:
- Sister Howcroft requested a shoutout, so she’ll get another one. We usually just roast each other when we cross paths, it’s fun times.
- Sister Kettring is requesting a shoutout as well. She got transferred in like, 2 weeks ago, and she’s pretty rad. She’s also super short.
- Sister Pike asked what I was doing and I informed her of the shoutouts, so she requested one as well. She’s way sick and really laid back. She’s not from around my area, but she’s here for the zone activities we’re doing late.
Over and Out
