Drugs in the Church Parking Lot
Thought we’d run through my week in a variety of poetry styles.
Haiku:
My everyday life
Stay inside all day
Calling all sorts of people
Then we play some games
Beat Poetry:
Locked inside
Wake up in the morning and I look in the mirror
Another day in good OK, man you know that we out here
Still get dressed
Sunday best
Nametag still
On my chest
Calling all the families in the ward
Do it for an hour, then get bored
Make a sandwich, read the Bible
Man we’re living like we’re tribal
Day is done, feelin’ dead
Drop a prayer, go to bed
Hopefully that’s a more interesting way to say, “We’ve been doing pretty much the same thing every day this week.” But things are pretty good here, I don’t know if too many interesting things happened, but I’ll look through the week.
Well, for starters the Spanish missionaries here asked us for our help filming a video for them to upload, and I wore a dinosaur suit to help them out. That was about the only positive social interaction we got for the week, so that’s why it’s a highlight.
Alright, so for those that don’t know, we can go to the church to exercise and stuff, and one day we went to play some basketball. Now, I didn’t bring clothes because I can still dominate a man wearing dress shoes and slacks. They’re actually my shoes from working at Chick-fil-A, so they’re not as restraining as usual dress shoes are. But anyway, Elder Anderson went to go change into actual workout clothes. So I’m throwing the basketball at the hoop, missing like usual, when I see this hunched figure out the window on the gym doors. This mysterious person is bent over in such a way, that it’s like the letter L. Homie has just morphed into a Tetris piece! So I’m just looking at this person, just lost in what they are doing, because I cannot identify the gender. And they stayed like that for like, a minute straight, as I waited for Elder Anderson. He showed up, and I was like, “Yo come look at this person” and then I’m like, “Should we go talk to them?” And then we went out the side doors, came around and said hi. Then this LADY looked up, and her eye was like, going bananas. I don’t know how to explain it, her eye was just in some deep REM sleep or something. It was just looking all around, until it finally sort of homed in on us. I’m 85% sure she was shooting up heroin, not gonna lie. But we said hi and asked if she was trying to get into the building. She said yes, and we told her how it’s closed now because of coronavirus. And as we’re talking, she’s taking off her sunglasses, looking through them at the ground, then putting them back on, waiting a moment, and doing it again. Then we asked if we could help her with anything, and she asked if there was an office we could step into. We were like nah. And then she told us how she got “run off the road by some bikers” and then she came here. Then she talked about how she hasn’t had a hot meal in a while, and she needs a ride home to another town in Oklahoma. We asked her where, and she said, “First gimme the ok that you’re gonna help.” So then we asked, “Well how far away is it?” And she’s like, “2 hours.” So we were like, “We’ll go call some people to see if anyone can help.” Then we asked what her name was, and she thought for a bit, then she’s like, “Kay.” Sick. So she just gave us a letter of the alphabet. But we went and called some people to see what the protocol was, and we got word to just tell her we can’t do anything, because of Corona going around, and she was probably just a moocher, that was trying to get money and a free ride. So we went out and as we come around, she’s smoking a cigarette, and back in her L power stance. As we said hi, she rubbed it into the ground, and the moment we told her we can’t really do much to help her as missionaries, she was like, “This is the second church I’ve come to, and this same thing happened. You know, God sees all, and there will be a Judgement Day.” Basically trying to guilt trip us into giving her a ride or some money, which we couldn’t do because only missionaries could use the church cars, and we both were flat outta cash. Then she hit us with the “True Christians would help, no matter who they were in the church.” So I guess we earned INSTANT DAMNATION for following the rules. Then she asked AGAIN if we could give her a ride to the nearest library, and we said we couldn’t. And when we offered to give her directions to the nearest library, she just proceeded to say, “I hope this church gets shut down.” And she walked away, saying stuff that we couldn’t hear, so we went back inside. So that was just a weird event for everyone involved.
Yeah, also update for us is that we got told we have to wear the face masks in public, which gave me some trauma from the last episode I had involving face masks. But they also said we could wear stuff like scarves or other masks, and the missionary that used to be in a gang is getting us all matching bandannas, so I’m pretty pumped for that. Gonna be going out in public, and people gonna start calling me “Bandito Schroeder”.
Well, aside from the stuff I talked about, life is just kinda chugging along. We’ll be here for another week, and I’ll try to do something story worthy for next week. Thanks to everyone who reads my emails, even when I’m stuck in the house.
Over and Out
SHOUTOUTS:
- Kay: She had the guts to do drugs on church property. If someone can consciously choose to do that, and not feel a drop of guilt, they’re truly something else.
