Don’t Tell President Dahl
President Dahl is my district president and technically our P-day is tomorrow, but I’m leaving at 4:30am so I’m gonna write my email today.
Shoot, what happened this week. Everything was the same as usual but as for the interesting things, we had Elder Spens become the VOLLEYBALL TERMINATOR when he almost took Sister Richardson’s head clean off. Twice. And then he also just SAILED the ball into this poor Sister at volleyball.
Then on P-day last time, we forgot Elder Farley’s laundry until around 9:30, and I eventually coaxed him into sprinting there barefoot with me.
Ah and of course, for those of you who are not aware, Sister Jones has these “sneeze attacks”, where she sneezes a bunch of times in a row. She once had a run of 25 sneezes. In a row. And ladies and gentlemen, I am INVIGORATED to share that on Thursday, October 3rd, 2019, Sister Brooklynn Jones graced us with 27 CONSECUTIVE SNEEZES!! A monumental moment in history and one we soon won’t forget. Godspeed Sister Jones, godspeed.
In the MTC they have this record board with all the records on it, and Elder Horner has been working on beating it. It’s 125 push-ups without dropping, and Elder Horner went for it. 111 is where that titan of a man had to bend his knee to gravity. A valiant effort, my brother.
Then Sister Jones sucker punched Sister Garlick smack dead in the thinker. She needs to stop with all the physical altercations.
General Conference was Saturday and Sunday and they made us all sit in the bleacher seats in the gym, and if you’ve ever been stuck in one of those abominations that shouldn’t even be called chairs for 2 hours, you can catch a glimpse of what it’s like to be paralyzed from the waist down. Spiritually filling, but physically draining. Also on Sunday we foolishly thought they would have sack breakfast like every other day in the week, but alas, we did not prevail. So we just didn’t eat breakfast really. We scavenged for snacks in our room, but they weren’t really good.
We’re gonna circle back to the bleachers because whatever ENLIGHTENED MIND designed those things put 7 ROW SEATS, ALL UP AND DOWN THAT HUNK OF FUN. And for those that aren’t aware, 95% of the time you are a COMPANIONSHIP so there’s TWO of you sitting together. 7 seat rows? Sweet goodness. But anywho, the 6 sisters were in one row and the 7 other elders in another. Just the right number for our district, happy day. So I drop a seat next to Sister Jones and the entourage of sisters and wait until we get started. Then this guy whose sole job is making sure seats are all being filled is like, “Elder, where’s your companion?” And he speaks as if he is gonna die at any moment, where the words are like, drooling out of his gaping jaw. And it’s one of those questions that you already know is gonna lead to a lecture, but I play that old man’s silly games and point to Elder Farley a few seats down on the row behind me as I’m like, “Right there”. Then ya know, he leans in a bit closer, to really let me taste that ham and cheese he had for lunch, and says, “You should probably find a different seat so you can sit with your companion. There are some empty ones on the other side of the gym so you two can sit there in a stony silence as you get to watch the rest of your district have a fun time getting spiritually enlightened and all you get to do is weep in your sorrow for trying to sit with your friends, you oaf.” Not exactly like that, but the seats were a good saunter away from where we were. Then he left and we did exactly what you’d expect me to do: ignore him entirely. Well, not really. Farley sat behind me so then I was at least within slapping distance from him, and we called it good. Then ANOTHER guy came by, who asked the same passive-aggressive question as to the whereabouts of my companion. So I point DIRECTLY behind me to Elder Farley, who gives a little wave. Then he’s like, “You should sit next to your companion, because it looks like you’re on a date with her, and we wouldn’t want that now, would we” while pointing at Sister Jones, who busts out laughing. Took a little emotional damage, but I’m just like, “No we wouldn’t”. So we finally shuffleboard around so that it’s 3 elders and 4 sisters in one row, and 2 sisters and 5 elders in the other. Fun times. But listening was good and got quite a lot out of it.
We’ve all been saying goodbye to our district because half of them are leaving today. So it’s a rough time.
Thanks again to everyone that has been emailing me and giving me that DRIVE to keep up the work. I’ll email next week with how the mission field is.
Over and Out