Utterly Incapacitated
Well, gents and ladies, I’m outta here.
I’ve been in Norman for a bit, but I’m going to a place called Fair Oaks/Forest Ridge, because covering one city is too mainstream I guess. I’m getting a new lad to tag along with me named Elder Horn. He was out of country, but now he’s been reassigned here. So that’s the fun news for me. Found that out last night, so today has been a bit of packing. But yeah, hope that place is gonna be off the rails.
But anyway, let’s see what up with this week.
Well, I had a rough night on Wednesday this week. I don’t know why this was happening, but as I was trying to drift off into the wonderful realm of my subconscious, I would just wake up. And when I woke up, which was five different times, both of my arms were just numb. I don’t know what arm-numbing witch cursed me, but I would just wake up, and my arms were tingling. Both of them. And I was just lying on my back! I wasn’t on top of my arms or anything, I was just on my back, arms at my sides, and then I would come to, with these dead arms. And I would try to change my position of rest, in a desperate attempt to increase my quantity of snoozing, only to find out that I was powerless. The problem was that, I was operating with single digit percentages of brain functionality, AND I had a nasty case of SPAGHETTI ARMS, so it was like dragging these dead snakes across my bed. I couldn’t activate my MASSIVE BICEPS, because there was a lack of blood in them, so I was essentially trying to fling my noodle limbs around, using exclusively my shoulders and torso. Somehow, I made it to the morning, but only barely.
Alright, has anyone has seen those videos where people put pancake mix inside those ketchup type bottles, and then make pictures with them? Yeah, well I tried my hand at that. Naturally it was an unqualified success, so I’ll throw the pictures of my art below. It was pretty taxing though, since my bag of pancake mix couldn’t close, so my hands would become drenched in pancake mix if I held the bag wrong. But it was worth it.
Wow! I’m sorry lads, but that’s about all that’s happened that’s exciting. We’ve been doing video calls with families and such, but I guess we haven’t brought about enough madness.
Actually, today these other missionaries came over to do their laundry, and one of them brought a military-grade laser, which we’ve been using to pop balloons and burn holes through paper. Only the most responsible actions.
Well, sorry this week’s email didn’t have much lunacy, but hopefully next week’s will include some excitement. Hope everyone’s enjoying that locked-in life, keep it real.
Over and Out
SHOUTOUTS:
- My Dad: My dad asked to be shouted out for one of his previous mistakes in life. When he crashed his very first car, while it was only a week old. And he did so because, in his words, he was “Driving 70mph trying to change the CD in my Discman player which was plugged into the dash radio via a cassette tape adapter”. So the moral of the story is: Don’t do that.
- Sister Field: She is in Arkansas, also being a missionary. She’s really nice, and is shredding it up over there like Tony Hawk. What a lass.
