Murder Witnesses
So yeah, we got locked in. We can only really be in our apartment, or at the church. And we can’t visit members. But we can still see other missionaries, if everyone is feeling good. So that’s the situation in which the events of this week were forged.
Well, since we got SHUT DOWN on Friday of last week, we’ll go over the pre-locked-in stuff. I mean, not really a good story, but I got whooped up on in foosball against some members we were having dinner with. And I mean, it was brutal. The kid was like, two years younger than me, but light-years ahead of me in pure foosball prowess. So I took some damage to my pride that night, which hurt.
Also, last Monday when I was here, there was just a random guy wandering around playing bagpipes, so that was unexpected.
Then we went to Chili’s for lunch before EVERY RESTAURANT CLOSED, and found out that Chili’s kinda sucks. Then we threw a mattress off a balcony at some other missionary. It was sick. His spine probably almost collapsed in on itself like an accordian.
Then came the reckoning. We found out we were gonna be on lockdown. So then like 3 days of nothing but calling people, studying and playing board games.
But with all this tomfoolery going on, we got to go and walk around the empty OU campus, which was legendary. We went to this duck pond they have there, and we fed them bread. I was like the animal whisperer, because I would slowly lure them closer to me, one step at a time, until I had geese literally eating the bread right out of my hand. Now THAT was sick. But then I ran out of bread, and it looked like the geese were gonna jump me, so it instantly became less sick. Then we were watching these four ducks swimming around together, and we saw one of them start to violently thrash in the water like it was listening to heavy metal, and then it just got sucked under. Annnnnnd didn’t come back up. We stayed there for another 10 minutes, and that duck didn’t surface. He was gone. He wasn’t coming back. And the three other ducks did not give one crap that their homeboy just got snatched like that. We’ve heard that snapping turtles are in Oklahoma, and that was our best guess as to what happened to that chap, but who knows.
Well, nothing else really happened, because nothing else really CAN happen, with us sitting inside all day. I’ll try to make some more madness in the meantime. Also, I’m staying here for another 6 weeks. Just got word like, ten minutes ago. Same guy will be with me, Elder Anderson.
SHOUTOUTS:
- Patrick: He didn’t ask for one, but I don’t care. Writing this email, especially the part about dropping a mattress on another man, reminded me of my good homie Patrick. Patrick was a LEGEND in gymnastic ability, he went to national championships and stuff. It was nuts. Then his back went through an extreme case of Getting Messed the Freak Up. So it reminded me of him, and I put him on here. Patrick, you a real one brotha, stay frosty.
Over and Out