1 Foot, 6 feet, and 15 feet
So, screw Coronavirus. What a dumb virus. I’ll tell you what we get to do because of that. Actually, more what we don’t get to do. No more handshakes, so formally greeting people is a no go. No more going to church, so seeing our members is out. And on the one day a week that we get to play games and email, games are donezo. But we still are told to go out and visit people, so long as they aren’t feeling bad. It’s not just confusing, it’s also shtewpid. Coronavirus is ruining my mission. And then of course they say stuff like, “Stay at least 6 feet away from someone coughing or sneezing.” Like, the heck am I gonna do, pull out 2 yard sticks and double check that math??
My master idea is that we stop shutting things down and all just embrace the virus. Yeah, we all get it, and the weak will be weeded out, but then everyone strong enough to get through it will be immune. Sorry if you got a weak immune system, natural selection can be brutal. (Nobody actually take offense at this joke!)
ANYWAY.
So this week is the week of the 18th, so once again, we got: THE RAFFLE. Whoever wins better email me where to send it.
Ok, now that the BORING stuff is gone, let’s go over the week. So, I don’t know if you know this, but in some newer-model cars, such as the one we have, they have an automatic stop function if you get too close to something without braking. So I was just driving, like you do, and out of the corner of my eye, I see a shirtless man carrying his leather jacket for a fraction of a second. So I turn to double check if I saw that right, and in the process of looking over, the car notices I’m coming closer to the car in front of me, who had come to a rather quick stop. So the car does the flashing red letters BRAKE, and I start pushing on the brake, not wanting to give myself whiplash. Well our car had a better idea. Since I didn’t push on the brakes as hard as humanly possible, the car proceeds to bring us to a literal GEAR GRINDING HALT. This wack sound was coming from the car, and we were flung forward. No injuries, no airbags, but the car stopped us. A GOOD FIFTEEN FREAKING FEET BEHIND THE CAR IN FRONT OF US. Thank goodness we were able to squeal our tires and probably do some damage to the interior instead of getting to stop a little bit closer to the other car. Honestly could’ve had a homie merge between us comfortably, from where we had stopped.
Time for a story of sweet buttery goodness. So I was making mac & cheese, nobody could stop me, and I realized I needed to put butter in with the milk and stuff, and all we had was butter in the fridge. I don’t want to put hard butter in my pan and mix it around until it’s melted, so I put the stick of butter, with the wrapper on, in the microwave. I hit the 30 seconds button, knowing I’d stop it well before then and then got immediately distracted by the pan of water I was boiling. Next thing I hear is the microwave beeping as I proceed to yell, “OH NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!” And sure enough, the butter had melted out of the package onto the glass disc thing. So I dumped the melted butter into a glass and had to use that. Luckily Elder Anderson was there to capture my pure joy on camera.
We also got to talk to a guy working on a broken van, and he had the BIGGEST plumber’s crack I have ever perceived with my peripheral vision. I didn’t dare lay eyes on that unholy sight head on, but that crack had gotta be about a foot long, sweet glory. Could’ve gone to Subway and spent $5 for that thing.
And yeah, that’s about my week. Still going around and visiting families, trying to help them out while talking to everyone we see and trying to find people that want to listen to us. Hopefully I don’t get locked in my apartment and have nothing to write about, but WHO KNOWS? Anyway, thanks to everyone that reads this, hopefully you enjoyed it, have a fantastic week.
SHOUTOUTS:
- Nobody wants shoutouts anymore
Pics:
- The butter fiasco
- I love riding in the back behind people that are over 6 feet
- Gary, from the raffle
- Swapped and went out with a different missionary for the day, who promptly got sick, and we came back so he could pass out
- So this card game called “BANG” had a make your own card, and Elder Anderson told me to draw Thanos. So I did what I could
— Over and Out
