I Can’t Think of a Clever Subject

We got 2 days, people. 2 days ’til Christmas. And in OK it’s gonna be freaking 70 to the 3 degrees. That’s not Christmas. That’s not even winter. It’s just spring here. I don’t get it, why do they gotta ruin my white winter wonderland? Dang city slickers.

But yeah, at least it means we can bike more! Which WE DON’T FREAKING DO BECAUSE SOMEBODY DECIDED TO REINJURE THEIR TOES! So we’re actually just driving everywhere in nice weather. But that’s ok. DEES TINGS HAPPEN. We’re teaching some new people, including this African family that is just bomb fire and accepts everything we say and loves it, so that’s good!

As for what happened this week, let’s get it started:

Well we had this Christmas Conference, which is where we sound the trombone and gather all the preachy peeps together and you listen to the mission President tell us some stuff, and then have fun. We had a Christmas talent show, which we did a skit for, so that was rad.

But that’s boring pills, let’s tell the good stuff. We went to this retirement home to carol for old people, and since in retirement homes they have a BUNCH of those wall hand sanitizer things, I decided to create a game. I got 2 of the cool Elders to join me in it: The goal of the game is to hit as many of the hand sanitizer dispensers as you can, without dropping any hand sanitizer. So you have to aggressively rub hand sanitizer into your hands, while constantly getting more and more sanitizer. Drop any amount, and you’re out. So you have to balance between getting sanitizer and keeping it in your squeaky clean mitts. It was awesome, and if you get the chance, I suggest you at least give it a shot.

Then also at the senior home, we were talking to this old guy who we couldn’t really understand, but you know we shoot our shot. He thanked us for singing to him and then Sister Nielson goes HOG WILD by asking him to SING FOR US. Now, Sister Nielson is a mad lad. The power move of going to carol to people, and then dropping the Uno reverse card and telling them to SING FOR US. I would’ve dropped from the raw power of that demand, had I not huffed so much hand sanitizer. But this old crusty guy was like, “Yeah I can sing a song for y’all.” Then from his raspy, crinkled voice, he breaks into song: “HAVE YA EVER GOT YER NUTS CAUGHT IN A RAT TRAP?” That is the part that my knees buckled. Literally dropped half a foot from how I was standing. I wasn’t ready. I could never be ready for that. Hearing that sung to me was like someone had removed my spine, and proceeded to beat me over the head with it. That old guy’s going places. Probably heaven soon. Godspeed my brother, keep thriving in madness.

We also got to hang with our zone leaders, who are in charge of the missionaries in a certain area, and we made a video, created Aztec weapons out of hangers and long balloons, had a freestyle rap battle, and I learned the basics of playing the piano with them. That’s what we did when we weren’t OUT SAVING SOULS FOR 15 HOURS. It was super fun. 

I also made a nativity recreation, with only me, playing every role, so that was my after hours for 2 nights.

Well, Christmas is coming around, so I’m getting ready to hang out with people here, call my family and just enjoy the season. I hope everyone reading this enjoys their holidays, and I hope I brightened your day, even just a little bit. Merry Christmas to whoever reads my emails, and have a grooving week!

Over and Out

SHOUTOUTS:

  • Sister Kettring: Whenever you ask her how she’s doing, she always respond with “I’m thriving”, which is the pedal to the metal lifestyle I’m gonna acquire. What a lad.
  • Sister Taggart: It’s pronounced, “tag-ert”, which I instantly related to “Gogurt” when I first heard her name. She played the Holy Ghost in the skit we did, and she’s rad.
  • Sister Howcroft: She requested a shoutout, and then left the room to call her family. So I’ll shout her out for wearing a baseball hat every P day. She’s cool.