The Drought
I’m a broken man. It’s like 3 and a half months in and Elder Schroeder is gone.
At least the pronunciation of my name is. Elder Janke has been calling me names like Shredder, Schrodinger, Schneider, just about anything that starts with a SH and ends with an ER. Then members try to pronounce my name and literally every time without fail they pronounce “Schroeder” like it’s spelled, and I have just given up trying to tell them it’s “Schrayder.”
But yeah, update on the new missionary they picked up last week: His name is Elder Lara, he’s from Mexico and lived in TX for a bit. He also insults my family name like Elder Janke.
Elder Weese and I were gonna be talking to members quite a lot this past week, except my immune system decided to go on strike and I got sick. Getting sick sucked man. I had these crazy dreams that I was a prophet from the Bible and had to make stuff outta yarn. Second worst night of my life. And the best part is we have no food here, so I’m sick and all I have to eat are eggs without salt and pepper, and toasted bread. But we’re on the uphill climb to getting better. Shout out to my mom for taking care of me when I got sick.
WOW this week like NOTHING story-worthy happened. But I’ll look through my book of life anyway.
Wow this is the saddest thing, I don’t have any good stories. It doesn’t help that I was sick for a few days, either. But I know the crowds in the arena are hungry for excitement, so I’ll just tell an old story from my life. One even my CLOSEST friends don’t know. I’m kidding, it was one of my best friends that got me to do it, and it’s how I ended up even becoming friends with him in the first place. My good friend, and one serving a mission in Brazil: Kyer.
So this all starts in a chemistry class. There are only 5 minutes left in class, and we had already finished our worksheets, so we’re just hanging around the counters and sinks, waiting to leave. My friend had a gatorade bottle that they were gonna go throw away, and they ended up just scapegoating me, and told me to throw it away for them. But I am an efficient machine of a man, so I decide I’m gonna make like Goofy and just hyuck this thing across the classroom into the garbage can next to the window. That’s when a mysterious figure appears from behind me, seeing me getting ready to underhand it like a wussy boy. So he doesn’t even introduce himself, he just says, “No no no, you gotta fill it with water a bit, give it some weight.” I recognized this wisdom, and I was like, “Yeah you right.” So I put some water in there. I screw the cap back on and prep the underhand toss again, swinging it back and forth as I calculate the precise weight of this bottle. Then the mysterious man shares another secret of knowledge. “What is this underhand nonsense? You gotta TOMAHAWK it.” Well dang, mama didn’t raise a coward. So I bring the bottle up. At this point, other people are seeing this event taking place, and I just wind it back and YEET.
The literal MOMENT I say “YEET” the classroom falls dead silent and all eyes follow the bottle sail through the air. CRRRRERNSHSCCHH The bottle just flies dead into the metal blinds on the window next to the trash can. “ZAQUE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING???” The chem teacher just called me out like that, and I bumble out of my mouth: “I was just, ya know, throwing away the uhh, bottle.” She ended up just shaking her head at me, and the mystery man and I start to bust out laughing at the whole event. That mystery man was of course, Kyer. He is still a great friend of mine, and that’s the starting moment that we actually became pals.
I’m sorry that this week there was like, literally nothing that would make a good story from my mission, but hopefully we can actually get something this upcoming one. Well, thanks for reading this, everyone that did, have a good week and remember the Alamo.
SHOUTOUTS:
Elder Janke – Nobody else is here, so he was the only person I could even ask. He’s sick in both aspects of the word, and he was the one that kept me company in the apartment when we were both sick, while all the healthy boys went out together. Good man
Over and Out
Ooh, this week we have a raffle winner!