Thrown to the Ground

New week, same stuff. Making videos for Facebook, calling people, and Zooming people. I’m gonna verb that word because it’s so much easier to say. But let’s see what else happened.

Oh yeah, the world is erupting into riots now? Dang, some people’s kids these days.
Well, all we did was the stuff I listed before, so I’m gonna share another story from my past that I still remember, because trauma won’t let me forget it.

So this is back in the days of my tumultuous youth. I was hanging out with two of my best homies, Patrick and Ethan. They’re the brothers that lived down the street from me all my life. And we were outside on their trampoline one day. And like boys do, we decided to fight. Not like full on “kill or be killed”, but just some good ol’ fashioned trampoline brawling. Now, I was the tallest of the group at the time, and Patrick was the shortest, and we’re bouncing around, pushing each other over like kamikaze dominoes, just having a good time. Now, the reason I include the height difference is because this would have been impossible had I not been larger in mass than him. So I’m trashing Ethan around, like I do, because I am the alpha male here, and I see Patrick at the edge of the trampoline start to charge at me. So I need Ethan out of my way for when I take Patrick down to his trampoliney grave, so I give Ethan a push to my right, and turn to face this barelling monkey. I thought he was gonna hit me head on, but Patrick was filled with the spirit of PURE GLADIATORIAL COMBAT, and he jumps at me, practically SIDEWAYS, wrapping his arms around my neck. It looked like he was going to run past me, when he jumped and grappled me, and I honestly don’t know how this happened, but Patrick swung around me, like I was some kind of pivot, and he brought both his legs into Ethan’s limp little body, sending him flying away. Meanwhile, I’m stumbling, trying to keep my balance while this mad lad is orbiting me like some kind of planet. So after rotating 180 degrees around me, kicking Ethan, and not touching the trampoline, Patrick finally gets his feet back down, and uses the centrifugal force of his attack to JUDO SLAM ME INTO THE GROUND. I was down, Ethan was probably dead, and Patrick was standing there, in total awe of what he just did. I still remember it today, and I’m sure they do as well. It was single handedly the coolest martial arts move I have ever been a part of, TO THIS DAY. Oh wow, I get chills just typing the story out.

But yeah, nothing story worthy happened this week, maybe this next week will be better…? I kinda doubt it though, we’re inside pretty much all day, and that’s not exactly SUPER CRAZY. But anyway, I’ll catch you guys next week, don’t go rioting, or I’ll mail you soggy bread.

Over and Out

SHOUTOUTS:

  • My Grandma: My grandma is awesome. When she saw that none of the people from my raffle were getting back with me, she offered to take it, because nobody else wanted it. Luckily Sister Jones actually did take it, but it’s the thought that counts. Thanks grandma, you rock.
  • Nicole: She used to be a missionary here, but went home a while ago. She was slick, and so she got added to the weeklies. Who knows if she even reads these, but we’ll still give her a shoutout.

Pics:

  • Imagine this room. Four of me in it. What would happen? What wouldn’t happen? Either way, I would love to be there.

All the time, people ask me, “How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?” To which I answer, “About 1 panorama”