You Cannot Get Rid of Me

Guess who folks? It’s me. The Schredder. Going after those dang ninja turtles again.

On a cool note, we had a baptism this week! You’re supposed to limit it to 10 people if you do it indoors, but we got to do it at this rich dude’s house in his pool. It was a good experience, despite being super hot in a suit. That was probably the best part of my week, but let’s see if we have any stories.

I mean, there was a guy pacing back and forth in the parking lot for a good two hours one day, and then we later found him playing what appeared to be invisible basketball. He’d just bring his hands up, and then pretend to shoot a basketball. We watched him take like 12 shots before we decided to get back to what we were doing. So, that was fun.

Oh yeah, at the baptism, the people that were letting us use their pool had a MASSIVE dog, so that was a plus. He was like a small bear, and of course I petted the dog, even at the cost of having hair all over my pants.

Alright, so who remembers when I made the shampoo of destiny? Well, before I unravel this tale, you need to understand something I do. So, I used to get up super early during the school year for seminary, before school. Seminary is basically a church class at 6 in the morning. And since my dad was the teacher, we had to get there early. So I was waking up at like 5:30, five days of the week throughout all of high school. Which I say is an achievement in and of itself. But you see, I was not a fan of getting up and getting into the shower, where the lights would blind me. I needed some time for my mind to calmly awaken. So I started to shower….. in the dark.

Now, you gotta understand, that this was one of the greatest ideas I’ve ever thought of. That and Chairables. You know if you know. But yeah, I started to get up, and have all my clothes in the same spot, so I could grab them in the darkness, and just walk into the shower. It was awesome. I got to the point where I could get ready in the morning entirely blind. I had the soap and shampoo in the same places, so I didn’t have to look for them. I was Shower Daredevil. But anyway, this habit of mine has stuck with me into the mission. I shower every single morning, in the dark. So now we get to the story.

We finally had run out of the power shampoo, but I didn’t know that until I was trying to get some into my hand one morning. So I had to find another bottle. Now, we still had some various bottles of shampoo, so I felt around in the shampoo section, until I got one. It had one of those handy little squirt things at the top, like hand sanitizer does, and so for two days, I was using that for my shampoo. Then one day, as I’m cleaning the bathroom, I notice the selection of shampoos, and instantly spot the bottle I’ve been using for about two mornings now. It was the only one with the hand sanitizer top. And no, it wasn’t hand sanitizer. It was freakin’ acne wash. I was using acne wash as shampoo. Oop. I don’t think you’re supposed to do that. But then I found a bottle that actually had shampoo in it and set it up so I could find it next morning. But yeah, that was a discovery I didn’t want to make.

Sorry, that’s the best I’ve got for you. I poured out all of my creative power into my raffle redraw, because nobody responds to me anymore. Oh, and shoutouts have just become me picking random people, since everyone is done asking for that. But I will persist. My weeklies shall not die off and become forgotten in the inboxes of my supposed friends and family. You fools still got 16 months of these things coming at you. Suck it.

Over and Out

SHOUTOUTS:

  • Derick – This dude is like a living stick, but he’s awesome. I knew him back in CO, and he’s living it up with online school right now. We became friends under some wild circumstances, but I’m glad they happened. What a guy.
  • Elder Archer – I met this guy in the MTC, and he’s actually from Oklahoma. He’s a super good missionary, killin’ it up in Idaho, where the nation vacations.