Street Genius

So we discovered a huge container of pink lemonade, and it’s made this week all worth it. Even though it says it expired last year, I doubt that stuff can ever expire. It’s pretty much just crystallized, and I end up having to slam it on the counter to break it apart, but other than that it tastes pretty groovy.

Hmmm, looks like this week was pretty tame, with all the excitement happening in the span of 2 days:

So there we were, just chillin’, like we do. I was coloring like an 8-year-old, and Elder Anderson was napping. Then outta nowhere, our smoke alarm went off. One of them did. It wasn’t one of the ceiling fellas, but it was like a smoke/carbon monoxide detector. And these beeps are just horrifyingly loud. Elder Anderson just about had a heart attack, and I was just in my natural state of confusion. Now, there was no smoke, and I saw that it said CO detector on the front. So I try pressing the button to shut this ear-splitting noise up, and it doesn’t work. So that was cool. But we end up breaking the back open to check what 3 beeps means, because for all we know, that could be good ol’ carbon monoxide. But we check and 3 beeps is smoke. And there’s no smoke. And the button won’t silence it. So I made a tactical call and threw it in the freezer. Sometimes I forget that I’m basically a street genius, because that helped quite a lot, and the noise got muffled really well. Then as I’m waiting for this spazzy alarm to finally give up, Elder Anderson began to draw upon his primal rage and got the hammer, saying he was gonna just smash the thing if it didn’t stop soon. I had to give him a humbling, common-sense backhand by telling him that was the stupidest idea he could have come up with. I, of course, would’ve loved to watch this loon beat the crap out of a smoke alarm with a blunt object, but it wasn’t ours, and it’s the only CO detector we have. And then, by our luck, it stopped. Our ears had blissful silence once again, and we put it outside just in case it tried to go off again. Luckily, after we brough it in, it had silenced itself, and hasn’t gone off since.

Then this other day, I had my pen in my hand, writing down something, and I spilled some of that glorious pink lemonade on myself. So I have the pen in my hand, then I have a towel in my hand. Less than 4 seconds elapsed from the time that I got up, holding my pen, to when I had the towel, wiping off my shirt. And I lost my pen in that timespan. I then spent 20 MINUTES LOOKING FOR IT. It ended up behind the oven. I have no idea how it ended up there, but I got it back.

Then another time, we got my bouncy ball stuck on our neighbor’s second-story balcony. So I brought out a chair and a broom and tried to get it down. But since I’m so short, I couldn’t get it down. So then I climbed on Elder Anderson’s shoulders, and we got it down. We totally looked like we were trying to break in, but I don’t care, we did it.

And then as we were bouncing the bouncy ball around outside, this random guy gave us these tennis balls and let us borrow his tennis rackets. He was a nice guy, but I went through the exact process that I was trained not to go through as a kid. Like, step by step, how kidnappers abduct people:

  1. He approaches me, and asks me if I want some tennis balls
  2. I say sure
  3. He tells me he’s got them IN HIS TRUCK
  4. I FOLLOW HIM TO HIS TRUCK
  5. Instead if grabbing me and throwing me in, he just gives me a bunch of tennis balls

But dang, I guess I’m ripe for kidnapping, so that might be how I go. Nobody reading this try to kidnap me, because it’ll probably work.

Then I hit the tennis ball into a window on the third-story window. Luckily nobody came out to see what it was, but dang, those fools can FLY.

But yeah, this week was actually pretty good, not too many stories, but it was solid. I’ll try to get something exciting to happen this week, and we’ll see what the fates have in store for me. Have a good one!

Over and Out

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